


Unexpected Journey

by Tuiteyfruity



Series: Unexpected [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: And yes all the relationships I indicate are present, Gen, M/M, Vore, even if it’s subtle, fic contains non-sexual safe vore, gt vore, is the most featured ship but all the others are there, johnkat - Freeform, join me in multi shipping hell, meaning no one dies!, safe vore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-01-22 07:20:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12476300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tuiteyfruity/pseuds/Tuiteyfruity
Summary: Jake convinces Karkat to take him and John back to the human settlement, and everything that can go wrong, does.This is when I really get crazy with world building in this AU!Fic contains non-sexual safe vore! Homestuck Safe-Soft GT vore with a dash of adventure!Tinystuck!humans AU where humans live on Alternia after having their planet conquered hundreds of years ago.(this is a multi-chapter story in this verse so hold on tight)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story has multiple parts! The characters listed and the relationships listed might not appear in each chapter but are present in the overall story!
> 
> This prologue is a preview of things that have gone wrong. 
> 
> Warnings: descriptions and sketchy images of regurgitation
> 
> [This chapter features wonderful sketches that were drawn for me ask gifts!]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preview of things that will go wrong!

There was a buzzing in his ears that came from his heart beating fast in fear. These humans were out to kill a troll, and he doubted that even releasing the three he held would gain their mercy. In his mind he had done nothing wrong; in fact he had been trying to do something right, and was now being punished for it. Just his luck.

Karkat knelt on the ground, unable to do anything. He tried to focus on the sensations he felt from his gut. Small, tickling movements. They were the movements of the three humans in there, the humans he had eaten earlier that night and even though he had good reason to at the time, he now wished he hadn’t. The humans were squirming in his stomach, just as nervous as he was.

All eyes were on him, waiting for him to make any sort of violent move. He wanted to run, but he couldn’t, his hands were tied behind his back and his feet were bound together.The movements coming from his stomach became less erratic and much more deliberate. Someone in his stomach was stroking him, trying to calm him down.

“Everything’s going to be alright Karkat, just show them we’re safe and everything will be alright,” said John, who Karkat assumed was the one stroking him. It wasn’t as comforting as it normally would be.

“If we don’t see unharmed, still alive humans coming out of your mouth in the next minute they will be cut out of you,” yelled a blond male human with pointed shades.

The little bastard was standing a few yards away from Karkat, with the leader of the colony next to him. The two humans that controlled his fate.

“Karkat you need to get us out!” shouted John. “NOW!”

“I KNOW!” hissed Karkat.

But with hundreds of people looking at him, with anger and expectation, no muscle in his body would respond. He wanted nothing more than to get the humans out of his stomach, to prove they were safe. Blood pounded through his head and his face started to sting.

“TIMES UP, “ called the voice of the blond human.

That instant Karkat’s body involuntarily seized up and he leaned forward, making terrible retching noises. The crowd was shocked into near silence and Karkat felt something leave his stomach, something solid and alive. Slowly it made its way to his mouth. The process of spitting up a human was never comfortable but this time it was painful, he could feel it pressing against his heart and lungs. Whoever it was seemed to be panicking, flailing in the tight confines of his throat, its movements like thorns jabbing on his insides. Wounds on his face that had gone unnoticed flared up as salty tears ran over his cheeks. 

The human wasn’t even close to his mouth when it was flooded with thick, gooey, bitter fluid. He tried to spit it out, but mostly it ran down his chin, red and darker than his own blood. Terror-stricken shrieks told him the crowd was jumping to gruesome conclusions. The combination of fear and nausea made Karkat gag even more, every throe increased the agony in his throat, made him cough up more goo, but moved the human faster up his esophagus.

After what seemed like an eternity the lump in his throat made it out of his chest. However, this only made it worse. Until now Karkat had been unaware of the full extent to which his neck had been bruised, but as the mass of the human stretched his neck, he became acutely aware. Instinct wanted him to swallow the human back down, to breathe again.

It took all his willpower fight that urge, and soon the lump in his throat became a writhing mass in the back of his mouth. He leaned forward further, as far as he could, trying to shorten the distance between his face and the ground. Finally, the human fell out of his mouth, landing with a solid splut to the gasps, screams, and cheers of the crowd; a strange mix between joy and fury. Karkat’s gagging turned to violent coughing and spitting as more tears streamed down his face.

A few tears landed on the human as Karkat looked down at it through a haze. He sighed with relief it when he saw it movie; it was all right. It was the blond human he had found near death, was now alive, safe, and staring blankly with a look of complete horror.

Shivering, covered in his saliva, and other stuff he did not want to think about, the human blinked, the horrible visage of the monster meeting his gaze. A contortion of anger, distress, pain. the thick crimson oozing out of the troll’s mouth making it looked like it had coughed up blood and it hard for Dave to confront. Still, he gathered all his courage together to say

“This is so fuckin gross man!”

“DAVE!” shouted the other blond human. “GET AWAY FROM IT ALREADY!”

Dave scrambled up, slipping a bit as the spit and bile dripped off him. Once he found his footing he ran away, toward the one calling to him. Mr. Pointy shades was getting on Karkat’s nerves. The human was alive, and in better condition than himself. What did it think he was going to do: try to kill it by rolling over it? He gave the human a nasty look, then immediately regretted it; his reactions evoked a strong response from the crowd.

“Karkat what’s going on?” came John’s voice.

He could feel both John and Jake trying their best to comfort him but it was not helping, if anything it was making him feel even more sick.

“IT HURT” he said, quietly.

“What hurt!? Karkat are you ok?” asked John, sounding worried.

But Karkat couldn’t respond again as the leader of the colony spoke.

“SILENCE MONSTER!” she ordered, “say one more word and it will be your last. NOW RELEASE THE OTHER HUMANS!”

Two more times. He had to do this two more times, and he didn’t know if he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to calm any fears: The red goo that karkat spits up is bile harmless but gross.
> 
> Yes bile aids in digestion but it's not corrosive. It's slightly basic, pH of like 8.05 at most, that's nothing. Bottled alkaline drinking water, that is safe to drink, can be up to a pH of 9. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! please leave kudos and comments!


	2. Unexpected Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake convinces Karkat to take him and John back to the human settlement, and everything that can go wrong, does. 
> 
> (this is the chapter where Jake makes the request)
> 
> Fic contains non-sexual safe vore! Homestuck Safe-Soft GT vore with a dash of adventure!
> 
> Tinystuck!humans AU where humans live on Alternia after having their planet conquered hundreds of years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has multiple parts! The characters listed and the relationships listed might not appear in each chapter but are present in the overall story!

“I got it now let me watch the goddamn movie!” begged Jake.

The troll raised an eyebrow at the tiny human that had just interrupted him and who was hanging over the crook of his knee. The human suddenly looked shocked at the realization of how rude he had just been. He immediately apologized “sorry, I mean, I got it, and you can unpause the movie now.”

Watching a movie with Karkat always took at least a few hours, especially if it was one the troll had seen before. He would stop and explain every scene he thought would be confusing to a human. John had told Jake it was easier just to pretend you were listening to the troll's explanations rather than pretend you understood the movie. Jake made the mistake once of claiming to know what was happening, which resulted, as John had warned him, in a full interrogation by the troll. 

Since then he had taken up John’s strategy of just recognizing when to acknowledge a statement with a “yeah” or “ok”. But sometimes enough was enough. With frequent interruptions and explanations, Jake lost track of the plot; if Karkat wanted him to follow a story he should not talk so much.

Jake was being more than a little off tonight, nervous and skittery. It was weirding Karkat out; somehow the human was being more polite than his usual over-politeness. John used to do that, Karkat recalled as Jake turned his attention back to the screen. At least the Jake human genuinely seemed to be enjoying the movie. Actually, now that he thought about it, Jake liked every film Karkat had shown since he arrived a few weeks ago. Karkat wished he could say the same for John, who was sitting on his shoulder reclining against his neck.

As Karkat’s focus shifted to the human on his shoulder he realized John hadn’t moved in a while, so he picked John up and off his shoulder to hold him in his palm. His friend was so deep asleep that he didn’t wake up from being lifted, and for a moment Karkat let him sleep. Damn adorable, damn irresistible. Feeling like John deserved it for falling asleep while watching such a great movie, Karkat licked him. The human woke up as the giant tongue was drawn across its body and flailed a bit, startled more than he was scared. This tickled his tongue so he licked John again.

“I’m awake! I’m awake you can stop now!” said John, laughing and coughing, “I swear you’re like a giant cat!”

The troll made an almost purring sound in response. Except trolls couldn’t purr so it was more a rapid clicking generated somewhere deep in the troll’s system.

Jake, who had been reabsorbed in the movie, now twisted around at the noise. What he found was a very pleased looking troll and his brother, sitting up in said troll’s hand, drenched in red troll spit. He was glad that wasn’t him and that he could stay awake for any movie, a skill he took more pride in than he should. For one thing, troll spit stained and smelled something awful, for another bring licked at all really bothered him. Maybe he didn’t like being licked in general, or just by giant people. But his little brother didn’t seem to mind. It still made Jake uncomfortable, they tended to get overly affectionate.

“Do you need some privacy?” asked Jake.

Karkat turned his eyes to the human, pausing the movie before speaking, still holding John in his hand. John yawned.

“WOULD YOU RATHER WATCH THE MOVIE ALONE?” asked Karkat, “I LOVE THIS MOVIE AND IT’S A CLASSIC BUT I CAN THINK OF A SHITLOAD OF THINGS I’D RATHER DO THAN SIT HERE ADORNED IN HUMANS.”

“I need a shower,” said John.

That prompted Karkat to lick him a third time.

“No! I meant with water!”

“I can finish the movie on my own,” said Jake, he was looking forward to it.

“GREAT!”

With the movie paused, Jake climbed over the troll’s legs to stand on the massive couch, and watched Karkat get up and exit the room, his brother going along for the ride. They were chatting animatedly, ignoring Jake.

“Also, I’m tired,” his younger brother complained to Karkat, “I’m going to bed after I wash up.”

“HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU BE TIRED? YOU SLEPT THROUGH HALF THE MOVIE!”

“It’s the dead of night Karkat!” John pointed out.

“IT STILL DOESN’T MAKE SENSE THAT AFTER THREE YEARS YOU STILL HAVEN’T ADJUSTED YOUR SLEEP PATTERNS,” remarked the troll.

John’s reply went unheard by Jake, partially because John went out of range, but mostly because Jake turned the TV back on. Normally he would have let himself be completely lost in the on-screen adventure, however now he used this opportunity to gather his thoughts. Even a movie was not a big enough distraction to cover up thoughts about home.

A month. That was how long he had been here, living with the most fearsome species on a planet inhabited solely by monsters. Sometimes he felt like Karkat was a ticking time bomb, and might kill John and him anyday, and sometimes he felt like there was nowhere safer for him to have ended up. Yet it never felt like home. At best he felt like he didn’t belong and was imposing on Karkat’s logic defying hospitality. At worst, well, at worst he was like a pet or toy. He was certainly the size of one.

John didn’t seem to have this problem. The ease with which his brother interacted with his surroundings and with Karkat made it clear that John felt right at home. It was like John had some special connection with Karkat that had developed in the three years of being Hivemates, a connection Jake didn’t have and didn’t want to.

It had taken a month, but the high of finding out John was alive after all those years, and that he was safe and sound, was wearing off. Now he contemplated leaving, going home, if not to tell everyone that John was alive, but to belong somewhere. He made up his mind, but he finished the movie first.

Once the movie was over Jake quietly and carefully left the living block to find Karkat. Predictably the troll was at his computer, fooling around with codes that would never work. Jake walked right up to where the troll sat at his desk, but didn’t try to get his attention. For several minutes he stood shaking, next to the chair, next to Karkat’s right leg, which he wasn’t even half the height of. When Jake finally managed to walk around the desk and climb up onto it, using the conveniently attached ladder, Karkat either didn’t notice him for several minutes, or pretended like he didn’t. It was most likely the latter, as Jake positioned himself by Karkat’s left hand. His own hands behind his back, he waited for the giant to acknowledge him.

"STOP STARING AT ME LIKE THAT WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!?" Karkat hissed as quietly as possible.

"Why are you talking so quietly- oh" said Jake, distracted from his main train of thought, eyeing Karkat's middle like he could see inside. "I thought when John said he was going to bed… Ok, so I guess he wasn’t lying was he, because he’s asleep ain’t he."

The look Jake got from the troll both dared to and warned him against making any comments on John’s location. But and the leer of the giant troll didn’t scare him like it had a few weeks ago, and he was glad it wasn’t going to talk back at him. That made this much easier.

"So back to what I was going to say," he began, "I wanted to ask for something. A favor."

Karkat narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"I want. I want to go home," announced the human.

The amount of effort Karkat needed to muster to not respond to Jake was only achievable by his desire not to wake up John. He could only stare at Jake, who was pacing erratically, back and forth on his desk, awkwardly moving his hands as he continued to speak.

"Yeah I know it's pretty much a guarantee that I'll die if I try, but that's only if I go alone. Not that I don’t appreciate you letting me stay here, that’s not at all what I’m saying. So I guess what I am saying, or rather, trying to say is: Karkat I would like to request that you take me back home!" he stopped pacing, removed his glasses, and wiped cold sweat from his brow.

The troll gaped at him, a bit lost for words.

"Please," Jake added, looking into the troll’s eyes.

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO DO THAT?" Karkat finally said. "CRAP"

He pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"I'M SORRY JOHN, YOU'RE IDIOT FUCKING BROTHER JUST INSISTED ON TALKING TO ME" said Karkat. "HE'S SNAPPED JOHN, HE WANTS ME TO TAKE HIM BACK HOME."

Karkat stopped talking, his expression focused but not on anything, as if daydreaming. Jake assumed he was listening to what John had to say and wished he could hear it too.

"THAT'S WHAT I WAS DOING THAT CAUSED YOU TO WAKE UP," said Karkat, looking at Jake.

"Oh, uh, why did I ask you this? Right, well. I couldn't think of a reason why you wouldn’t."

"HOW ABOUT I DON'T GIVE A FLYING CRAP?" answered Karkat, sitting back in his chair and crossing his arms, feeling John slide a bit.

"Then clearly there is no reason why you can't,” Jake retorted, smiling cheekily.

"MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO INCONVENIENCE MYSELF FOR A HUMAN?" said Karkat "ESPECIALLY WHEN NOT RISKING IT HAS NO DRAWBACKS."

"You don't want to inconvenience yourself for a human, or for me? Like, would you do this for John?" asked Jake.

"THAT- THAT'S NOT RELEVANT," but Karkat averted his gaze, cheeks turning a bit red. Then they got redder as the troll got angrier.

"NO YOU DON'T GET TO WEIGH IN ON THIS JOHN."

Pause.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO ASKED ME! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE JUST SAID."

This was getting frustrating. Why did humans have to be so frustrating!?

"NO I'M NOT GOING TO REPEAT IT."

Pause.

"THAT'S GREAT IDEA, I'M HATE THIS DUMBASS CONVERSATION JUGGLING"

When Karkat looked back at Jake, his face featured an ear to ear, fanged grin, eyes twinkling mischievously. There was only one thing that look meant.

"Shit!" Jake exclaimed as Karkat’s hand approached him threateningly. "No no no no no. I do not want to be eaten tonight!" He dodged Karkat's hand and running behind the computer monitor.

"YOU NEVER WANT TO, BUT JOHN WANTS TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO YOU," Karkat made a near successful attempt to snag Jake by his coat, "AND IT'S NOT GOING TO KILL YOU."

"Neither would taking me home!" said Jake, walking around to in front of the monitor, looking at his reflection in the troll’s grey pupils as a way to attempt to stare the troll down. It didn’t work as he was of course, looking up at Karkat, whose eyes were at least four meters above him. Karkat made no more moves to grab him; maybe it was working.

"I'm going to let you eat me, because I believe you that John wants to talk to me. But I also would really appreciate it if, maybe, you thought about doing me this favor?”

Karkat had moved his hand once Jake had agreed to be eaten but froze with his fingertips not a millimeter from the human’s face. He knew Jake was trying to bribe him, that if he ate Jake now it was almost like agreeing to take him home. This new tactic the brothers seemed to have developed of trading being eaten for favors was not one Karkat liked one bit. That was a lie, he did like it, but he thought it unfair, humans were near irresistible, he could eat them anyways.

"Well?" said Jake.

"I'LL THINK ABOUT IT," hissed Karkat through clenched fangs.

Instead of grabbing Jake, he laid his hand down, palm up, for Jake to climb on himself. The human stayed put.

"You have to promise me that you will," insisted Jake, tapping his foot.

"FINE, I FUCKING PROMISE!” Karkat did not like the attitude the human was giving him.

"That's all I wanted to hear," said Jake, stepping onto Karkat's palm and sitting down.The troll lifted Jake up off the desk, bringing him to his face so he was able to look at him at eye level. But the human was avoiding his gaze. It didn’t seem like Jake was scared or angry, more like he was troubled. Was it because he couldn't understand why Jake wanted to go home? Life on Alternia was dangerous, especially for humans, he knew he was much better off staying here. Karkat worried that his insistence on eating Jake was what made the human want to leave, even though he never hurt him. Out in the wild if the human we're eaten, whoever did the eating would not be so kind.

Karkat took a deep breath through his nose. The human smelled really good, almost as good as John, whose smell nearly drove him mad.

"Just fucking eat me already why don’t you?" Jake snapped, and Karkat opened his mouth.

It was not small part of him that could still not believe this was safe, and that part of him screamed as Jake entered the troll’s mouth. No matter how many times he had done this, being in a giant’s mouth, surrounded by razor sharp fangs, lying on a giant tongue like it was a bed, none of it sat right with Jake.

Humans tasted even better than they smelled. This was something Karkat would forget until he tasted one again, but he remembered again as he let Jake crawl into his mouth, even though John had been there not too long ago. Normally he resisted the urge to hold Jake in his mouth for very long, but with Jake needing a favor from him he let himself indulge in the human's flavor. Jake didn’t protest. It still wasn’t the same as John, who would roll around in his mouth; Jake was much taller so all he could do was pathetically lick at the human, lest he risk choking.

After about half a minute, Karkat stopped, which let Jake know to orient himself properly. When he felt Jake was in position, Karkat tipped his head back and carefully swallowed. It strained his throat a bit, but it was not painful. The human was large enough for Karkat to acutely feel its journey, and arrival to his stomach, joining his brother. Karkat enjoyed the feeling of their movements when they scrambled around to get comfortable in their confined space and he rubbed at his stomach a bit to let them know that.

"Ok, I'm here, what did you want to talk about?" asked Jake, wiping saliva from his face, flicking it at John. "Did you just want me to repeat what I said to Karkat?"

"No, I just wanted us to be able to all talk to each other," said John.

"So I had to be eaten?" asked Jake.

"I AM NOT COMPLAINING," came Karkat’s voice from all around them.

"Yes Jake, and I'm glad to hear that Karkat, because I think you taking us back home is a great idea," said John.

Karkat stopped rubbing at his stomach, suddenly tense. The weight of the humans in there felt a lot heavier. It was one thing for Jake to want to return home, but John? He thought John liked living here. Karkat liked John living here, and more than just as a treat. Karkat wondered, as he often did, that John sometimes thought he was only kept alive for his enjoyment, but he never said anything.

"Karkat are you alright?" John asked, concerned by his friend's silence and at the tensing of the muscle around them. 

"HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO RETURN HOME?" Karkat asked.

Before John responded, he started running a hand along the wall of Karkat's stomach, which did cause Karkat to relax a bit.

"It's been over three years since I saw my friends," John answered, “Wow. Three years. Guess that means everyone’s moved out.”

Suddenly the thought of going back was looking less fun. Maintaining a tight group of friends was easy when they all lived together, and while Rose, Dave, and Jade surely remained friends after he disappeared, they most likely only saw each other during school hours. With John missing three years of schooling, he wouldn’t see them much. He doubted the education committee would consider troll “schoolfeeding” to count for anything. What if he had to live with those of his education level, not only go to school with them? He’d gotten used to living more or less alone, even with Jake becoming a recent hivemate. That was only if he decided to stay, of course. But then, what if he wasn’t allowed to leave.

That last thought was enough to make him shiver, and it was very, very warm in Karkat’s stomach.

Karkat didn’t notice John’s shivering, he was too engrossed in his own thoughts. John wasn't saying he was going to stay with his friends and family, but he wasn't saying the opposite either. If he agreed and took them to their colony, there was a chance John would not want to return to the hive with him. John probably would prefer to stay with other humans. Karkat realized he wanted to keep John, keep him all to himself, and keep him safe. And he could, John could only get home if he took him. But that wasn't fair to John. His selfish desires were not a good reason to refuse the request and he felt guilty for considering them.

"YES." he finally said.

"Yes what?" asked John, not sure if he had missed something.

"YES I WILL TAKE YOU AND JAKE HOME!”

Guess that’s decided, thought John, and just as he had been about to mention he wanted some more time to think about it too. If he had, would Karkat ever had agreed to do this? probably not.

"WON’T THE HUMANS ALL BE SURPRISED WHEN I SHOW UP WITH YOU TWO!"

"They really will," Jake mumbled, standing up as best he could on the pulsing floor, “Now can I be let out, I’d like to sleep in my own, dry bed.”

“OH NO, YOU GUYS ARE STAYING UP. IF I’M TAKING YOU BACK IT’S GOING TO BE AT NIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF NIGHT. TOMORROW NIGHT AND I NEED YOU UP TO DIRECT ME! I’M ASSUMING YOU KNOW WHERE THE HUMAN COLONY IS, BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL DON’T. SO EITHER YOU BOTH STAY AWAKE, AND SLEEP TOMORROW WHEN I DO, OR WE AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE.”

The humans listened to the soft whooshes of air above them as Karkat ended his little rant.

“That makes sense,” said John.

“I would still like to be let out!”

“WHO'S THE ONE TAKING YOU BACK? FUCKING ME, SO HOW ABOUT YOU STOP COMPLAINING? WELL YOU CAN KEEP COMPLAINING BUT IT’S NOT GOING TO HELP”

Jake kicked at Karkat’s stomach before the troll yelled himself hoarse, “guess I have no choice.”

“Sorry Jake, guess you’re stuck here with me,” said John a bit jovially.

“Yeah but you want to be,” said Jake as he sat back down with a small squish.

“Well it will be worth it to see everyone again! Like, I haven’t seen Jade, Dave, and Rose is forever. This is going to be so awesome!” John said, shoving his worries out of his head completely and putting a hand on Jake’s shoulder.

“Haha, it sure is bro, it sure is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please leave kudos and comments!


	3. Unexpected Reunion (reprise: staring Dave Strider)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake convinces Karkat to take him and John back to the human settlement, and everything that can go wrong, does.
> 
> The journey has begun! And the troubles begin! Let's welcome Dave and Jade into the picture! 
> 
> Fic contains non-sexual safe vore! Homestuck Safe-Soft GT vore with a dash of adventure!
> 
> Tinystuck!humans AU where humans live on Alternia after having their planet conquered hundreds of years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The longest chapter yet! 
> 
> [This chapter features a wonderful drawing! It is something I commissioned]

Two humans cautiously made their way along the forest floor, both dressed practically, in clothing that was tough but was easy to move in. One was dressed in bright green, the other in red. The one in green was leading, not wondering, they had purpose. The red one was following, a bit lacking in enthusiasm.

“Why us?” asked Dave. No, you are not going to do this. Not now! Your first night out alone with her, you can’t screw this up.

“I got us this assignment because you said you were bored!” said Jade, “I thought you would be glad. You said, correct me if I’m wrong, ‘It’s time we started contributing to the community, don’t you think?’ So here we are, you’re fucking welcome!”

“Yes, here we are, with your whole personal cataloging of everything on this stupid planet. How is that contributing? Didn’t we already do that like centuries ago? For that matter, can’t we just steal the info from the trolls?” stop complaining you dumbass what are you doing?

“Look, this is what I could do on such short notice! And yes, fine, we know pretty much everything about this living hell but things change. Like, don’t know, location of resources and threats?

“Ok ok! So… What are we looking for again?” asked Dave. Good, good, sound interested. Be interested.

“There’s this special flower that we need to collect the pollen of! It only blooms at night and only releases pollen when the pink moon is full,” said Jade, as if she was worn out from repeating herself, even though Dave was sure she had not told him this before.

“What does the plant do?”

“It’s a very effective and safe anesthetic and we are running low,” Jade answered coldly.

“Oh, guess that’s important,” Dave shrugged.

“Take this,” Jade turned around suddenly and shoving something into his middle, which Dave grabbed hastily.

It was a camera. His camera!

“Wait, am I supposed to take photos of plants?”

“Yes! And be on the lookout for a white flower that has a spiny leaves, a bulb, and blue petals that look like a water drop frozen mid splash.” Jade informed him.

“Got it,” he said, fiddling with the device.

“No Dave, listen,” she began, walking up to him, but he cut her off saying, “Jade I think I can handle the flowers.”

“Fine then!”

With a swish of her coat, Jade turned and walked away from Dave, setting a brisk pace deeper into the forest. Strider was so infuriating. Why did she try to do nice things for him when it always ended in failure and irritation?

To distract herself from the negative thoughts, Jade took out her flora reference guide, home-made using information copied from a library book, and quizzed herself as she walked. The plants around them should have been familiar, as this area was well documented. However her notes had been taken during the day; at night everything was different. There were so many plants active only in moonlight or starlight, plants that hid themselves during the day. It made the passage from light to darkness seem like two separate planets exchanging existences.

Jade mentally cursed the dim light of the moons, which did not help much in her quest to distract herself. Their two colors already provided only a limited spectrum for things to reflect. But she didn’t let it stop her from her work as her eyes darted from each interesting specimen to the next, taking notes.

Occasionally there was a flash of light from the camera she gave Dave. They were infrequent as Dave tried to keep up with which plants he thought Jade would want pictures of. She was giving him no other indication other than her momentary glance and scribble. The camera flash was preempted by a small click, giving Jade enough time to shield her eyes lest she lose her night vision. Dave was fine, he had his special shades; the Striders got all the cool toys.

“Won’t the flash of the camera attract animals?” asked Dave.

“You ask me this now?” said Jade snidely, “You need to get out more, most things attracted to light are small, smaller than us. Doesn’t matter because look over here! This is what we came for!”

She suddenly got very excited, gesturing at a plant that exactly matched the description she gave earlier. It was much bigger than Dave had imagined, which was saying something living on a planet on which everything was enormous.

“Fantastic” said Dave, walking up to it and raising the camera.

“Wait Dave don’t-” Jade tried to warn him, but the camera had already went off.

Something was happening to the flower, some reaction to the light; the bulbous part was shaking and expanding. Then it contracted, spewing out brown pollen in a cloud of dust. Dave disappeared in the cloud before Jade’s very eyes. There was no time to feel annoyed at the loss of the concentrated pollen, Dave was in trouble now.

There was no time to wait for the pollen to diffuse, the plant was starting to move, pulling its roots out of the ground and stretching them towards Dave. Pulling her shirt up over her mouth and ran towards her fallen friend. Thankfully she was fast enough and pulled him away before the twisting roots could wrap around Dave’s legs. Once far enough away she dropped Dave down, her head feeling like it was full of helium, telling her just how close she was to passing out.

"This is what I was trying to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen!” talking to herself as she sat by Dave’s unconscious body “I hope you learned your lesson; you should always listen to what I have to say!”

The stars that shone through the canopy twinkled sweetly as Jade lay down, she was shaking a bit from the encounter with the plant, wondering if it was worth it to go back. Surely it had emptied itself of the spores but there was no way of knowing how long it would take for it to refill, or how long Dave would take to wake up.

–

“Ok I think you should turn here,” said Jake, pointing in a direction.

“YOU THINK! AMAZING, I DIDN’T KNOW HUMANS WERE CAPABLE” said Karkat, very annoyed.

“Yes, I do think!” said Jake.

“I’M STARTING TO THINK THIS IS A BAD IDEA. OH WAIT, I ALREADY THOUGHT THAT.”

“Please stop arguing, I’m sure we’re getting closer,” sighed John, leaning against Karkat’s head.

They had been traveling for hours. First Karkat returned to the spot where he found Jake, or at least, Karkat believed he had. From that point on Jake was in charge of leading them back to the colony. The problem was Jake was not good at giving directions and Karkat was even worse at following them, which resulted in hours of bickering.

“WELL I WOULDN’T BE THE ONE TO KNOW IF WE WERE GETTING ANY CLOSER, NOW WOULD I!?”

–

Jade snapped to attention. That was a voice, a loud voice, angry, gruff, and inhuman. There was only one thing it could be, a troll.

This was bad, this was very, very bad. Possibly the one thing that could make their situation worse was something finding them, and worst of all, a troll finding them. Wasting no time Jade scrambled to her feet and lifted Dave up, holding him under his armpits. As fast as she could she began dragging Dave along, heading for nearby bramble. 

The troll entered the small clearing in only a few seconds later. From her brief glance at it she saw its scowling gray visage, it was angry. She didn’t care what had irritated it, she only had to get away, but with Dave slowing her down she would never make it.

If the troll weren’t so close to the colony, she would have stayed with him, died with him, she told herself. The guilt she felt leaving Dave behind nearly paralyzed her, but someone had to make it out of this alive. There was still a chance the troll would just pass by, not notice Dave, and not step on him either. She could see the troll’s feet approaching, getting closer, and Dave was right it’s path. She wanted to both run out and stop the troll from trampling her friend, and flee to avoid seeing it happen; the mix of the two feelings made her physically sick and left her frozen in place.

–

“Jake don’t you dare say anything!” said John. Thankfully Jake didn’t, probably out of consideration for his younger brother.

Karkat turned where Jake had indicated but then saw something on the ground that made him stop.

It was a human, and it was just lying there. Karkat looked at John and Jake who looked back at him with worry in their faces. He sighed, walking right up to the human, taking care not to step on it. After making sure that Jake and John were secure and would not fall off his shoulders, Karkat crouched down and carefully picked up the human. The body was like a ragdoll, not reacting at all to his touch as he turned it over on its back.

The human was young, probably John’s age judging by its size; with white-blond hair and the palest skin Karkat had ever seen, so pale that for a moment Karkat thought it was dead of blood loss. However there was no blood, and it was breathing. After another moment Karkat stood up, his knees were starting to protest.

“Is it dead?” inquired John, adjusting his glasses.

“NO IT’S DEFINITELY ALIVE, ” Karkat informed them. “AND UNCONSCIOUS. I THOUGHT IT WAS INJURED, BUT THERE’S NO BLOOD SO I DON’T KNOW WHY THAT IS.”

Further investigation was clearly needed. Karkat brought the human closer to his face. The clothing it wore was made for the outdoors, but not for camouflage, as the main article of clothing was a red coat. Under its coat was a gear harness; the human was very well equipped. Also, for some reason, the human had sunglasses on, even though it was night. Karkat sniffed the human and shuddered.

“Something wrong?” asked Jake.

“HE SMELLS LIKE A FESTERING SHITHOLE!”

In addition to the normal, appetizing aroma that every human had, there was a smell that didn’t belong. A smell that, though he had never actually smelled anything like it, told the troll that it was bad and should be avoided. If the smell was stronger, Karkat suspected it would cause him to throw up. Luckily the smell was dissipating as he held the human, so it wasn’t being generated by it.

Jake leaned over and squinted to see the person better. The longer he looked, the more the human looked familiar to him.

"Karkat, can I get a look at him?”

“OK?”

He brought his hand up to the shoulder Jake occupied. Now able to see the person much better, Jake instantly recognized him.

“It’s Dave!” he exclaimed.

“Let me see!” and Karkat moved the human to his other shoulder where John sat.

“Oh my god it is!” he said, “Karkat, this was one of my friends from back home!”

“WELL, AT LEAST THAT MEANS WE’RE GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION,” Karkat said confidently.

“We can’t be that far!” John squeaked excitedly. It may have been Jake’s idea to go home, but John hadn’t seen his friends and family for over three years. He couldn’t wait to see everyone.

"You don’t know that,” said Jake a bit disheartened, “We don’t know how long Dave’s been away from home.”

John looked over at Jake who looked worried. Jake was never so pessimistic. 

“GOOD THING YOU’VE GOT ME THEN,” said Karkat,

“We have to take him with us!” said John, “here place him next to me, I’ll make sure he doesn’t fall.”

That did not sound very safe to Karkat. He already felt like Jake and John could fall at any moment if one lost their grip. He didn’t trust John’s ability to hold onto another person as well as keep himself stable.

“HOW ABOUT I JUST EAT HIM,” countered Karkat “THAT WOULD BE EASIER.”

—

Jade only heard the troll’s voice, but she had heard enough now. Not waiting to hear anymore, she fled. Sprinting as fast as she could back to the colony; Maybe, just maybe she could save Dave, but if not, she could definitely avenge him.

—

“Of course you would suggest that, how about we keep the people eating option as a last resort? Also, didn’t you say he smelled like an unwashed asshole?” implored Jake.

“HIS SMELL IS IMPROVING,” said Karkat, “EATING HIM IS THE BEST OPTION. I I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO CARRY HIM IN, AND JOHN’S IDEA IS FUCKING STUPID. JOHN I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU THINK YOU CAN CARRY HIM, YOU’RE NOT COMPLETELY STABLE AS IT IS.”

“Plus you’re just going to do whatever you want anyways,” Jake quipped. 

“YES I WILL, BUT JUST FOR THE RECORD I ALSO WANT TO EAT YOU GUYS AND YET I’VE AGREED NOT TO. The tone of the troll was slightly threatening.

"That’s because you need me to direct you to the colony. You could still eat John,”Jake reminded him.

"YEAH I COULD!” said Karkat brightly “WHAT DO YOU SAY JOHN?”

His tone was sarcastic but not totally devoid of eagerness as he turned his head slightly to look at John. John looked up at Karkat, considering the proposition for a moment before saying “I sort of want to be able to see us arrive at the colony, sorry Karkat.”

“I WOULD SPIT YOU OUT BEFORE WE GOT THERE.”

"I’d rather not be covered in your spit when we arrive either, that would be… really awkward.” The human shifted his position as if the uncomfortable thoughts could be driven away by more a comfortable reality.

"GOOD POINT. BUT I’M STILL GOING TO EAT, WHAT’S-HIS NAME? DAVE?”

“I still think that’s a bad idea,” warned Jake, “what if he wakes up still in your stomach. Don’t you think he might freak out? Not everyone likes it Karkat; it’s just John! He’s a freak!”

“Hey! I’m not a freak!”

“WHO CARES?” Karkat rolled his eyes. He was growing tired of this banter and made the executive decision to place Dave in his mouth.

“WAIT!!” cried Jake.

“WHAT NOW?!” Karkat said exacerbated, removing the human from his mouth. “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO CONVINCE ME NOT TO EAT HIM JAKE.”

“I know that! But maybe you want to remove his gear first? He’s probably got weapons on him and you don’t know what he’s got in those pouches! What if it’s something toxic? You’re not invulnerable,” Jake proudly explained.

“GOOD CALL,” Karkat said with only a hint of annoyance. “HERE, HELP ME WITH THAT, I MIGHT BREAK HIM IF I TRY.”

Karkat removed Jake from his shoulder and held both humans in his palms. The moment Jake touched him he knew something was odd. There was a layer of something covering Dave, a powdery substance. Cautiously, Jake smelled his hand. It didn’t smell bad but he definitely felt himself breathe some foreign particles, and the lightheadedness that followed.

“Karkat, can you blow on us? Lightly?” Jake asked, shaking himself into clarity.

It was like blowing loose chalk off a chalkboard; whatever was covering Dave was propelled off him and into the air. The human didn’t smell nearly as bad anymore.

“WHAT WAS THAT?” asked Karkat.

“Haven’t the slightest fucking idea, but there is still some on his jacket,” answered Jake.

After removing the long coat, Jake took off a lot of Dave’s more bulky gear, and most of his supplies and weapons. As he did that he took the opportunity to examine Dave. He was out cold, unresponsive to all of Jake’s actions.

“Place this stuff in your pockets,” Jake instructed, after putting all he could of Dave’s trinkets into Dave’s coat’s pockets. The rest, boots, harness, misc larger gear, he wrapped up in the garment.

The troll carefully held his friend in one hand and transferred the objects Jake had indicated to him into a pants pocket.

“NOW CAN I EAT HIM? DO I HAVE YOUR PERMISSION TO PROCEED?” Karkat begged snidely, transferring Dave, now only in a shirt and pants, to his now empty hand.

“You’re welcome for thinking of your well being!” huffed Jake, crossing his arms as he sat in Karkat’s palm. He’d rather Karkat didn’t eat Dave, and Jake felt bad for helping.

The troll wasted no more time in sliding Dave into his mouth. Karkat had braced himself for a souring taste but there was none, and he relaxed. After savoring the little snack for a second he tipped his head back, downing the human in a few smooth, satisfying swallows.

From his unfortunately perfect vantage point, Jake watched as Dave disappeared into his giant friend’s mouth and, accompanied by a loud gulping down, pulled further into Karkat’s body. So easily was the task accomplished, and with more than a little enthusiasm; he felt a bit sick staring at the small amount of blood-red drool hanging from the corner of Karkat’s mouth.

“MMMMMMM” Looking down at Jake and eyeing him hungrily, Karkat smiled and licked his fangs which sparkled with saliva.

“No! NO! You promised,” said Jake.

“CALM DOWN I’M JUST MESSING WITH YOU. GOD” Karkat chuckled.

“Just, get us home,” sighed Jake.

Karkat nodded, and put Jake back on his shoulder before continuing onward.

After about half and hour, John noticed Karkat’s attention sort of wandering, and the troll moving his hand over his stomach.

“Karkat is Dave waking up?” asked John.

Karkat just nodded.

“He’s freaking out isn’t he?”

The troll nodded again, a smile started to grow on its face. John rarely saw the troll smile, and it was usually when it had eaten someone. It creeped him a little, the display of white, sharp fangs, out but smiling suited the troll. John wished Karkat would more often. Though he expected Karkat did smile more often, but it happened to be because Karkat had eaten him in the first place. that was all the more reason to spend time inside his friend.

Dave was unsure if he woke up all at once or if it took a couple of minutes for him to gather himself. The first thing he noticed was it was dark. Not just night dark, but completely dark, absolute darkness. which was impossible. It was impossible because his glasses should produce light, he always had them as a light source. Maybe the just were switched off? Nope, they were broken, he discovered as he pressed a button. They did come to light for a moment before sparking violently and fizzing out.

That moment of brightness gave Dave a brief look at the place he was in. that mostly told him it was bright, bright red, all around him, to find out more he would have to explore a bit. Putting on his useless glasses he felt around him. He found himself in a moist chamber, which throbbed beneath him with worrying regularity. Slipping on the slick, undulating floor, Dave tried to figure out how much room he had, but it was hard to tell.

Then he heard a growling, and the floor vibrated.

“Hello?” he called out. “Who’s there? What is this place?”

“AH GOOD YOU’RE AWAKE,” came a voice from all around him. “TO ANSWER YOUR BOTH YOUR QUESTIONS, HUMAN, I AM THE TROLL THAT ATE YOU.”

“Holy fuck,” said Dave, falling to his knees. “Damn. There’s nothing I can do to convince you to let me go isn’t there.”

“VERY ASTUTE, FOR SOMEONE SO TASTY,” came the reply.

“Man, I never imagined I would go out like this,” sighed Dave, “Seriously, I came out to have a good time, not to be some idiot’s midnight snack. Or is it lunch for you? Do I even count as a lunch? Actually I’m going to die soon so why the fuck do I care.”

“WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING?!”

“Why am I still talking? Why do you think? You fucking ate me! I did not sign up to be on your fantastic fucking one-way voyage; you signed me up. So I’m going to spend my last moments however the hell I want.”

Dave kicked at the troll’s stomach as hard as he could; his foot made a squelching sound against the muscle, his sock soaked up mucus, and shivers went up his spine. The reaction from the troll was a clicking noise that rumbled all around him, and it was unnervingly happy. Oh, dear god, the troll was purring. The chamber also moved as the troll laughed and Dave fell on his back with another squelch, stunned into silence. 

“No Karkat, you aren’t doing this, tell Dave you’re not going to kill him,” Jake ordered, pulling on Karkat’s hair when the troll started to purr and then, to his horror, laugh.

The troll’s eyes had glossed over a bit with satisfaction, and knowing that it was Dave’s terror that was causing it…It wasn’t right. Jake was determined to stop this from going on any longer.

“It’s kind of a funny prank when you think about it, you got to admit, Jake” said John, chuckling and imaging Dave, normally reserved and a bit stoic, freaking out.

“John no. It’s not funny. Not one bit! I can’t believe you think it is. I didn’t find it very funny when Karkat first ate me. This is a very unfunny prank,” his brother asserted.

“Oh- well I guess so… but-”

“And what is a prank if the person it was pulled on does not find it funny?” Jake recited, sounding like their dad and talking over John before he could say any more.

“No prank at all,” John finished the statement automatically, though disheartened and annoyed. He was irked at Jake using that line on him. Stupid pranking rules. His brother had never been good at pranking, but he had memorized the rules backwards and forwards for a reason.

“Jake’s right Karkat, it’s mean.”

“IT’S LOSING ITS FUN ANYWAYS,” declared Karkat, shrugging slightly as he blinked and came out of his trance. “HEY HUMAN,” he growled, rubbing at his stomach to get Dave’s attention.

Dave was lying down on the moist “floor” of the troll’s stomach, his mind racing but his body completely unresponsive. There were so many things he would never get to do. So many people he would never see again. He had not listened to Jade and this is where it got him, eaten by a troll. He couldn’t even tell if he was crying or not because his face was so wet. His space suddenly moved, the walls contracting a bit. Dave didn’t react until the troll spoke.

“Why are you talking to me let me die in peace,” he said in a resigned voice.

“I’M TALKING TO YOU BECAUSE IT MIGHT INTEREST YOU TO KNOW YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DIE,” Karkat replied.

Dave sat up, blinking tears that had been unable to fall while he lay down. He had not sure he had heard right and he was dizzy from a headrush. The troll might be messing with him, just being cruel. Still he had to be sure.

“You saying I’m not going to be digested?”

“THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING.”

“And this isn’t some sort of fucked up trick. You ain’t lying?”

“NO I’M NOT LYING,” it insisted.

"Well damn if that’s not the best news I’ve ever received. But then why did you eat me?” Dave inquired.

“BECAUSE YOU TASTE GOOD,” answered the troll.

“Guess I’ll take that as a compliment but dude that’s not a good reason,” said Dave.

“IT’S A PERFECTLY GOOD REASON,” the troll said “AND YOU’RE DAMN LUCKY I FOUND YOU OR YOU WOULD BE DEAD.”

“I’m not going to thank you for eating me. You don’t get a reward for not killing me,” Dave said.

“NO, INSTEAD I GET PUNISHED BY HAVING TO LISTEN TO YOUR ANNOYING VOICE,” was the deep and rumbling response.

“Then how about you let me the fuck out already? It’s wet and smells terrible in here,” asked Dave, kicking at the no longer threatening wall of flesh.

But the troll didn’t answer, at least, it didn’t answer him. It was talking to someone else.

“DID YOU HEAR THAT!?” it said.

“NO I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT DAVE I KNOW YOU CAN’T HEAR HIM. NO THAT. DID YOU HEAR THAT IT SOUNDED LIKE- SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIFUCK!!!”

Dave had only a moment to be stunned by the fact the troll knew his name before it started yelling, nearly deafening him. He was also distracted as chamber he was in rocked and shook violently, causing Dave to slide and bounce in every direction. The troll was running, but from what? It made a troll scream and run, Dave realized, it was probably best he didn’t know.

Karkat barely had time to snatch Jake and John from his shoulders before he broke into a sprint. He had not been careful, not looking where he was stepping, and had ended up crossing into territory of… something. Karkat didn’t know what it was, but by the sound of it, it was large, and angry. He didn’t even look to see if it was close, hearing it’s shrill call told him how close it was and in what direction it was coming from.

“Karkat!” cried John, but Karkat ignored him.

“KARKAT STOP!!”

The plea came from both humans, and they sounded so completely desperate and in pain that Karkat stopped running. Yet he remained more focused on the sounds of the lusus than those of the humans clawing at his hands.

“Karkat you nearly crushed us!” said Jake, wheezing.

The information registered in Karkat’s mind at the same time as he heard the creature again. Karkat looked at both of his friends. They both nodded to him, all three agreeing, without needing to say anything, that the best course of action was for Karkat to eat them too.

Working fast, Karkat swallowed both John and Jake in quick succession, no time to enjoy their flavors or even slick them up with saliva . It hurt a little, he but as soon as he could breath again he resumed sprinting. It was with relief that he felt the two brothers safely enter his stomach. Now he could go at a full sprint without dividing his attention.

He had never ran with a human in his stomach before let alone three; they were a significant weight now, causing his insides to rock sharply back and forth in time to his pace. Three was much better than one though, with just Dave in there, Karkat had felt like living bag of marbles, but the trio had very little room to move, if any. It must be very cramped in there, thought Karkat, and he wondered how many humans he could manage to eat safely. Maybe two more? That felt right. This thought only lasted for a moment as his full attention switched completely over to getting away from the lusus.

Inconsistent screams came from his stomach so he put a hand to it, holding the humans in place. To Karkat’s chagrin, it didn’t help much; they stopped screaming but unfortunately the addition of company prompted the Dave human to talk again, which was incredibly distracting.

“*OW* Fuck, what the? Another one, wait, are there two of you!?!” he exclaimed as more people joined, falling on top of him, “Fuck this! Stupid troll, what were you thinking eating more people, there is no room now! Where the ever-living fuck did you even find more people to eat? Don’t answer that I don’t think I want to hear the answer.”

“Not the time Dave” said one of the humans, as they were all squished to one side.

That voice was familiar, Dave knew it right away, and he couldn’t believe his ears. “Jake! What the hell is going on? How did-”

“DAVE SHUT UP!” ordered Karkat, pressing his hand into his stomach, with it so full he could feel each human, each small movement they made. They moved at his touch, either protesting it or just startled by it.

“What the hell was that!? Why are the walls moving like that!? IS THAT YOUR HAND SQUISHING US?” cried Dave as whatever elbow room they had left disappeared and they were tangled together in the smallest possible space.

“DOES SHUT UP MEAN SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO HUMANS? BECAUSE EVERY TIME I TELL ONE TO, THEY DO THE OPPOSITE!”

“THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION DON’T YOU DARE ANSWER IT!”

Karkat sensed John was about to speak and added, quickly, “AND NO ONE ELSE SAY GOG DAMN WORD!”

The three humans didn’t speak again, other than what was needed to somehow coordinate themselves into a more efficiently packed position in his stomach. Still he kept his hand there, like he was holding them in place. Karkat ran until he felt he was no longer in the creature’s territory and sad down, supporting himself against a tree. Blood pounded through his head, which felt tingly and puffy. Every breath hurt but not breathing for even a second felt worse. And his stomach, that pounded too, his middle felt hot, strained by the solid mass it had to hold while he ran, he felt a bit sick.

“Karkat are you ok?” asked John. “Are we safe?

“YEAH. YEAH I AM, AND WE ARE. SAFE. BUT UM… I’M… NOT GOING TO TALK… FOR A SHORT WHILE OK?”

Even talking hurt, and talking meant not breathing evenly. unfortunately he couldn’t stop the humans from chatting.

He was unable to resist laying his hand back over his stomach, pressing in on the humans. For some reason feeling them move, not only in his stomach, but under his hand, was comforting. It was a second opinion, a reassurance that they were alright. Now that he wasn’t running in terror he could also enjoy the satisfying fullness; ok, so three humans wasn’t exactly enough to have a full belly but their weight provided a similar sensation. Fluttering, tickling in his core had not ceased since he sat down; it both stimulated him and made feel like he could fall asleep, no sopor slime needed to keep his mind clear.

“Ok,” said John compassionately as he pushed out against the side of Karkat’s stomach where the troll’s hand was pushing in. They all felt Karkat shiver happily in response.

“No not ok, I want to know what’s going on. I want to know how Jake is alive, how he ended up eaten just like I did, and how you know my name!” said Dave, as he elbowed the flesh behind him in protest.

He tried to stand up but he fell against the side of the troll’s stomach, sliding down the slick rippling muscle and into the other two people the troll had eaten. There was absolutely no room and no way to keep balanced. At least, not without help from said people. Sure the troll said it wasn’t going to kill them, but he didn’t entirely believe that yet.

“It’s sort of a long story,” said Jake, shoving Dave off of himself and John.

“In case you failed to notice, we aren’t going anywhere soon, so how about you tell it,” said Dave, sitting down and crossing his arms.

“I think John could to a better-”

“Hold the phone, John!” Dave cut Jake off, “Egbert you’re the third person here!? What the fuck man I thought you was dead, like three years dead!”

“Like Jake said, it’s a long story, but, I’m not dead! And neither are you, and it’s really thanks to Karkat,” said John.

“Karkat?”

“THAT’S. ME. IDIOT. HUMAN.” croaked the troll.

Doing his best to explain as concisely as possible, John described how he was found by Karkat after being lost in the forest, and then living with him for the past three years. With Karkat out of breath John was able to tell the story without the angry peanut gallery. And Dave, who was not known for being an easy audience, paid close attention. Or at least, John thought he did, he couldn’t see Dave’s face.

“That’s crazy,” he said, when John finished up by telling how Jake had also ended up with them. “You’ve been living with a troll, for three years. Only you Egbert, only to you would something that stupid happen.”

“Happened to both of us,” said Jake, who didn’t sound so thrilled.

“You’re also an Egbert. You know everyone thinks you’re both dead right?” Dave informed the brothers.

“That is what we concluded,” said John, a bit embarrassed, “but what was I supposed to do, call you guys and say ‘Hey I’m fine, living with my pal Karkat, who is that? Oh he’s a troll.’”

“Sounds pretty lame,” said Dave.

“John you forgot to mention that your pal likes to eat you. Can’t forget that,” added Jake, “Oh and other people as well, like me.”

“IM RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW, YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I’M A BAD PERSON!” interjected Karkat, still hoarse but feeling better enough to talk now.

“Anyways, soon everyone will know we’re alive. We were heading back to the colony when we found you,” said Jake.

“You might want to not be inside the troll when you arrive,” said Dave. “Don’t think that would be a good introduction.”

“NO SHIT,” said the troll. “I DIDN’T PLAN THIS”

“Really?” said Dave, dripping sarcasm, “according John you do this all the time. This is a normal day for you three.”

“ON A NORMAL DAY I’M NOT RUNNING FOR MY LIFE THROUGH THE FOREST,” Karkat retorted.

“Dave, we asked him to, he couldn’t run holding us in his hands,” said Jake, “He’s going to let us out before we continue towards home.”

“PLUS I NEED SOMEONE TO POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION, I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW WHERE YOU GUYS LIVE,” said Karkat.

“Yeah I assumed,” said Dave, “also, maybe I should go ahead when we get near home, you know, to warn people, if you just show up unannounced… Let’s just say the policy for any approaching alternian life form is shoot first and shoot until it can’t be questioned.”

“FUCK THAT’S SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE KNOWN SOONER,” said Karkat, “CAN YOUR WEAPONS REALLY DO THAT MUCH HARM?”

“They’re based off of your fucking technology, it’s not that hard to get a hold of you know,” said Dave.

“DID YOU BOTH KNOW THIS?” Karkat demanded of John and Jake. 

“Well yeah, I mean, it’s been that way for generations,” admitted John. He heard and felt that Karkat was about to make a comment, the air rushing above them, but John was faster. “Karkat you never were one to ask about how I lived before you found me. I never thought to tell you anything because it seemed like you didn’t want to know. Also I thought maybe trolls knew about that?”

“WE DON’T REALLY KEEP UP WITH HUMAN AFFAIRS.”

“Well humans keep up with troll’s,” said Jake, “we don’t really have any choice.”

—

"What’s it doing?” said a young man.

“It seems to be talking to itself; I can’t hear what it’s saying,” Jade answered, “maybe it’s insane?”

“Aren’t all trolls?” he said, attempting some sort of joke.

“Ok not the right time,” the man continued, “And you are sure this is the right one? You said you only got a glimpse of it.“

“Yes I’m sure!” she replied. “It has the same clothes and the same horns! It has the same voice, it’s the same troll.”

There was no doubt in her mind this was the same troll she had ran from earlier.

It had taken a while to track down the troll, even though it had left a very clear path. For some reason it had ran for a long period of time, changing direction randomly. Unfortunately it had gotten closer to the colony at the same time. She had gone back and gotten Dirk to organize a rescue party for his brother. The look on his face when she said the troll mentioned eating Dave, she thought he might actually cry. But instead he rallied a good number of people and gathered supplies in an impossibly short amount of time.

They were all huddled just behind a rock in a large bush, barely out of the sight of the troll, which seemed distracted anyways, to plan their next move. It was just sitting there, making strange faces and talking to no one.

“I don’t see Dave,” said Dirk, doing a very good job of hiding his fear.

“If Dave isn’t with him, that means…” said Jade, “oh boy.”

Dirk didn’t respond, he was aiming a large rifle in the troll’s direction.

“You picked the wrong person to eat, troll,” he muttered, under his breath.


	4. Unexpected Catch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake convinces Karkat to take him and John back to the human settlement, and everything that can go wrong, does. 
> 
> In this chapter: Introducing, DIRK STRIDER, as the "villain" of this villainless story 
> 
> Fic contains non-sexual safe vore! Homestuck Safe-Soft GT vore with a dash of adventure!
> 
> Tinystuck!humans AU where humans live on Alternia after having their planet conquered hundreds of years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick refresher bc the fic starts in the middle of a conversation:
> 
> Karkat found out how unsafe it was to approach the human settlement after talking to Jake and Dave, who are more up to date on the settlement’s defenses than John is. All three humans are in his stomach. Jade thinks Dave was eaten by Karkat (true) and is dead (untrue), and she went to fetch Dirk, who mobilized a group of people to deal with that. Last we left him, he was loading a rifle, and aiming it at Karkat.

“OK, I GUESS IT MAKES SENSE THAT YOU GUYS PAY WAY MORE ATTENTION TO US THAN WE DO TO YOU, BUT I THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TECHNOLOGY AT ALL!”

“Karkat, I knew how to use your computer, I knew what it was!” said John more than a bit amused.

“Wow you’re an idiot,” sneered Dave, “You would end up living with the dumbest troll to ever fucking hatch, John, I’m not even surprised.”

“YOU KNOW DAVE, YOU ARE STARTING TO REALLY PISS ME OFF!”

“Being packed like a can of sardines in your fucking stomach is pissing me off! You sound like you’ve recovered, how about you let us out of this goddam shitsmelling, AND STOP THAT DAMMIT THAT’S NOT OK ON SO MANY LEVELS! EVERY FUCKING LEVEL”

“HAVE SOME GOD DAMN PATIENCE HUMAN!” hissed Karkat, pressing his fingers into his stomach, feeling the humans wriggle in response. “HONESTLY, YOU ARE WORSE THAN JAKE! DON’T YOU GET THAT- OUCH!”

Karkat stopped the tirade he had wanted to unleash on his occupants. There was a sharp pain in his neck.

"Everything ok?” asked John.

“SOMETHING FUCKING STUNG ME!”

Karkat reached to his neck and felt something sticking out of it. It was long and thin. He pulled it out and held it in front of his face. It was a needle, with a feather end. He looked around but there was not another living thing near him, at least, not one that wasn’t already inside him. Then he saw something glint at him from inside a bush. He start to push himself to his feet.

“FUCK NO. SOMEONE SHOT ME! WHY THE FUCK-” were Karkat’s last words before his speech slurred and he fell unconscious.

Before any of them could respond to Karkat’s information they were all thrown off balance. Gravity was less intense for a short time and they screamed as they were pressed against one side of Karkat’s stomach.

Once they regained so semblance of balance and awareness, the three humans tried to get Karkat’s attention but he didn’t respond. After a few minutes they felt more strange, random, and unexplained movements; they also heard indiscernible voices, at which point they quieted down. Eventually the movements stopped and the voices were became less frequently. From the new availability of side to side space and reduction of lateral, it was safe to assume Karkat was also lying down. Dave had tried standing up, but there was barely three feet between the “floor” and the “ceiling”, so even at his stature of 4’5”, he had to bend over considerably.

“Well, guess we’re gonna die here,” said Dave, lying down in defeat once more.

"Karkat’s not dead, so I wouldn’t start saying my prayers just yet,” John said, trying to reassure him Dave.

“Then why don’t we get the attention of whoever is out there?” Dave proposed, “If they’re human they could help us.”

“What if they’re not though!” countered Jake, “What if they’re a troll? If a troll found out we were here it might kill Karkat and us along with him.”

John couldn’t bring himself to tell them that trolls were just as likely to kill each other as they were to kill humans. Speaking up would only serve to bring death sooner.

“So all we can do is wait!? Fuck that shit.” But Dave didn’t make any moves to do anything. He just sat sulking.

“Guys?” he piped up again, his voice breaking with sudden fear.

“Yeah?” the brothers harmonized.

“What happens if Karkat doesn’t wake up soon?”

"What do you mean?” asked Jake.

Dave’s voice got higher as he explained his line of questioning. “I mean even if he wakes up, right now he’s asleep. Doesn’t that mean he’s not keeping us safe? That he’s no longer in control, and we’re going to get digested?”

“No we won’t get digested, you don’t need to worry about that,” answered John with confidence.

Though it was pitch black, John could feel the two of them looking in his general direction.

“Do I even want to know how you know this, or can I guess?” said Jake.

John didn’t answer right away. “Well… I may have, on occasion, slept here, while Karkat slept too.” He was glad they couldn’t seem him because his face was probably bright red.

His companions were silent for a while.

“Egbert you are a sick fuck.”

“Oh fuck you Dave. It’s warm and soft and safe here!” protested John.

“Sure sure,” said Dave. “maybe it’s just me but I don’t think that a troll’s stomach is the ideal place for sleep.”

“Don’t knock it till you try it,” said John.

“Well I have tried it, and it’s just as terrible as you think,” said Jake, “Of course I never slept here of my own volition, and Karkat was always awake, as far as I know.”

“Well if you think I’m sleeping anytime soon to find out, you are out of your mind,” said Dave.

“No, I’m not either, I sort of hope Karkat wakes up soon though,” John said.

“I hope so too, John,” his brother put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze. John leaned into the hug, glad his brother was concerned for Karkat too.

“Same,” agreed Dave.

—-

The world felt like it was pressing down on every inch of his body as he started to wake up. Karkat could not remember why he had fallen asleep, but he decided to wait until he could feel his limbs again before making any moves. He did remember that he had swallowed three humans, and relief swept through him as he registered their presence, their weight, in his stomach. He wanted to say something, to talk to them, but his mouth felt coated in glue.

Karkat tried opening his eyes and the forest canopy greeted his gaze, with stars and moonlight shining through the leaves, but it was very blurry. His head hurt quite a bit and he tried moving it, but for some reason that caused him more pain. It was like small needles pressed into his face. He felt it in his neck too, accompanied by a slight choking pressure. In addition there was a third pain, it was mind numbing, like his brain was on fire, and it caused him to see spots.

The next thing he felt were things moving across his body. At first he thought it was just his limbs regaining feeling but very soon realized that wasn’t it. He tried to brush at the things.

Shooting pain spread through his wrists, elbows, and shoulders; Pinching and buzzing in his nerves and bones. Nausea swept over making his head throbbed even harder, the ordeal left him numb, tingling, and immobile. He could still scream though, and scream was exactly what he did.

"Karkat! What’s going on, what happened!?” John’s voice rang in his ears.

He couldn’t answer, partially because that would have been a stupid thing to do, but mostly because he was paralyzed with the fear as he felt something move across his chest. All he could do was just stared up into space.

The unknown things were nearing his face, their pace slow and cautious. Fighting the pain and nausea, Karkat lifted his head as far as he could to see what it was. He could only manage it for a split second, it hurt his head and neck something terrible, so he didn’t get a good look at them but it was definitely two humans.

"FUCK”

That stopped the humans advancing to his face and prompted the humans in his stomach to move. The place where the two humans had stopped was right over his stomach, which made combination of sensation very weird.

“You said something beast!?” said one of the humans, in a strong, but young, male voice.

So they hadn’t heard John. Good.

“Do not try to escape, it will only make things worse for you, we have you completely immobilized and surrounded!” continued the human in a very proud tone. He did not wait for Karkat to answer his question.

“Nothing to say eh?” said the human, “That’s fine, but it may interest you to know that we have not decided whether or not to kill you.”

Karkat took a deep breath, and once again pulled against the bonds on his face and neck to look at the human who was talking. His head swam, and his vision became spotted again as tears came to his eyes though. One human was blond, and, like Dave, had sunglasses on, and it wore a bright orange vest. Humans were so strange. The other human matched the orange one in height but had darker skin and wore green. In his current state he couldn’t tell anything else.

“We captured you because my friend Jade here thinks you ate her friend, my little brother, Dave.”

SHIT! his head hit the ground again.

“I don’t expect you to know his name. –“

“Dirk why are you doing this? This is the troll. I can tell from his voice,” the blond human’s friend, Jade, said. “I heard him say he was going to eat him!” she sounded very angry.

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT

“I don’t expect you to know his name.” Dirk continued, louder, “so I will describe him for you. He’s shorter than I am, he has blond hair and-“

“Dirk! Holy shit, Dirk is that you!?” came Dave’s voice, clearly audible to Jade and Dirk. “Dirk! You have to help us!”

The two humans were completely silenced, either from shock or because they were waiting for Dave to speak again.They were staring down, where Dave’s voice had come from, then in synch looked up in horror at Karkat.

“SHIT!ICANEXPLAIN!” said Karkat hastily after he couldn’t take the silence any longer.

Pulling at the bonds on his face and neck the hardest he had yet, he viewed the horrified humans, each with a weapon pointed at his face. One of them made a small motion.

“It’s too late for that, troll,” said Dirk, his voice full of malice. He made a motion to someone Karkat couldn’t see and continued, “You shouldn’t have eaten my brother.”

Karkat felt a sting on his neck, just like before.

Once the troll was out again Dirk started ordering the preparations to cut it open. Dave was going to be all right. The barbed metal cables that they used to tie down the troll had held. They had done it.

“I can’t believe we found the right troll, and that Dave is still alive,” said Dirk, “we are damn lucky.”

“How long do you think he’ll last?” asked Jade, very worried.

“I don’t know…” said Dirk. “He’s been in there for a while now.”

He knelt down on the troll’s chest.

Dave’s shouting had taken John and Jake by surprise. As quick as they could they grabbed him to shut him up, but not before he got a few sentences out. They all felt Karkat’s heart rate shoot up but it was too late. They heard Karkat try to plea before being knocked out again, the troll’s heart rate dropping just as fast as it had risen.

“Dave you idiot!” hissed Jake.

Dave shoved them away from him “What’s the problem? That’s Dirk, he will help us!”

“Were you not listening!? He’s the one who captured Karkat in the first place!”

“So what?” asked Dave.

He was answered when Dirk’s voice was heard again “Dave! Can you hear me!? We’re going to cut you out of there, just hang in there!”

“Oh. Oh I fucked up majorly!” said Dave.

“What gave you that impression?” said Jake.

“I’m fucking sorry alright?”

“Shit Dave no, sorry sorry isn’t stopping Dirk from cutting Karkat open. He’s going to die!” said John, his voice cracking.

Jake sat up on his knees, still wobbling on the pulsing floor, but he needed to be heard.

“DIRK STOP!”

Dirk’s heart skipped a beat. The voice that responded was not Dave’s but Jake’s. His mind was suddenly so numb that he barely heard Jade’s comment of “Dirk? You heard that too right? That sounded like Jake.”

“This is worse than we thought! We must move faster!” exclaimed Dirk, voice cracking as he come out of his stupor.

“NO DIRK WE’RE OK! DON’T KILL THE TROLL!” shouted Jake.

Dirk looked at Jade, she looked very worried. Dirk’s mind had frozen. Part of him only registered that there were two humans eaten by this troll. Another part was processing what they were saying.

“Dirk something isn’t right here,” said Jade.

“If we don’t get you out, you will die!” he finally said, looking at Jade, who nodded.

“Please listen Dirk! We’re safe! Karkat was never going to kill us!” said a third voice, a familiar voice, but Dirk couldn’t put a name to it, “Please don’t kill him!”

“Holy fuck how many of you are there!?” cried Dirk. This was getting ridiculous.

“Just us three!” said Jake, “That’s not the point! You can’t kill Karkat, he’s not a threat!”

“Wait, is Karkat the troll?” asked Dirk.

“YES! And if you just wait for him to wake up, he’ll let us out and we can talk to you! No killing!” said Jake.

Dirk got to his feet. His head was pounding with all the conflicting information.

“Dirk they know its name,” said Jade “I think they’re telling the truth.”

“But! But it’s a troll! Why would it keep them alive!? It doesn’t make sense,” said Dirk, pacing across the monster’s chest, following the grey pattern on its shirt.

He wanted very much to trust Jake, but there was no way he was going to just release the troll. It could kill them all the moment it woke up. There must be a way he could at least try to prove Jake’s claim. He had to confirm something first.

“Dave! Do you think this troll is friendly?” he asked.

“Yes!” came the reply.

Dirk turned his gaze all around, surveying the troll again, then closed his eyes. Standing on the beast like it was a conquered mountain, Dirk rose and fell with it’s breathing and he felt it’s slowed pulse beneath his boots. The rhythm helped him think.

“Alight then, new plan, we’re taking you back to the colony at which point this troll will be allowed the chance to free you, under supervision,” he informed them.

With that, he and Jade climbed off the troll.

“We’re taking it back home!? Isn’t that what we don’t want? Trolls to come to our colony?” said Jade.

“Don’t worry, I have it all under control,” said Dirk. And he walked away, barking orders to several people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	5. Unexpected Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake convinces Karkat to take him and John back to the human settlement, and everything that can go wrong, does.
> 
> In this chapter: Karkat has been captured and is being taken by force to the human settlement, and gets a chance to talk to his captors! His pals are still in his stomach but are unharmed! 
> 
> Fic contains non-sexual safe vore! Homestuck Safe-Soft GT vore with a dash of adventure!

When Karkat woke for a second time he felt even worse. His mind was even more gummy from the second dose of whatever they used to put him out. But eventually he regained full consciousness. He was… moving? Yes, he was being dragged along the ground. A strong cable was wrapped around his chest, pinning his arms to his sides. The end of the cable was attached to whatever was pulling him. He couldn't see where he was going, but with his vision was swimming he couldn’t even tell where he had been.

“THE MOMENT I GET FREE, YOU LITTLE FUCKERS ARE SO DEAD!” Karkat said under his breath.

“Interesting,” said the voice of a human. It was the male human from before, sitting, cross legged, on his thigh. It was completely stone-faced as it looked up at karkat.

Karkat didn’t need John shouting at him to for him to realize how stupid what he had said was. He would be mentally hitting himself if he wasn’t constantly accumulating more bruises from terrain that passed beneath him.

“AW SHIT”

“That’s what I thought,” said Dirk, “The way I see it, somehow you convinced the humans you ate that you’re nice, but I know better; I know some trolls have psychic powers.”

“I WASN’T BEING SERIOUS JUST THEN” said Karkat, "AND I DON'T HAVE ANY POWERS! TOTALLY NOT PSYCHIC IN ANY WAY."

He swore as a particularly sharp rock grazed his behind. Dirk somehow remained perfectly balanced during the moment of turbulence.

“Nice excuse, but try again," said Dirk, completely unconvinced.

“IF YOU STILL DON'T BELIEVE ME THEN I REALLY DON’T THINK THERE’S MUCH I CAN SAY. OTHER THAN YOU MUST BE THE DUMBEST FUCKING HUMAN I EVER MET,” said Karkat.

“First you eat my friends, now you insult me? You’re on roll troll, I almost think you want to die," said Dirk, raising his voice.

“Karkat just stop talking!” John begged, but not loud enough for Dirk to hear him.

“WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?” asked Karkat, ignoring his friend."NOT ONLY THAT, HOW? HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING THIS?

“I guess telling you won’t hurt,” said the human, “To answer your second question, we've trained several animals. Not easy, but not impossible. To answer your first question: We’re headed back to our colony, where you will be forced to release the humans you ate and then you will be judged.”

Announcing this plan seemed to make the human very happy, he grinned wickedly; Karkat grew very concerned.

“GREAT,” said Karkat “THAT’S FUCKING GREAT! YOU KNOW WHY? I WAS FUCKING HEADED THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.”

“Excuse me?” said Dirk, now paying very close attention.

“DID YOU LITTLE SHITS NOT TELL THEM!? YOU GUYS ARE SUCH IDIOTS!” said Karkat.

It took a moment for Dirk to realize the troll was talking to the humans in its stomach. Then it looked down at him again.

“I WAS TAKING THEM TO YOU. JAKE ASKED ME TO!” explained Karkat. “WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS!?

“Jake... Asked you” Dirk said, almost to quietly to be heard, and then louder “ Hold up, if you were doing something nice then how did you end up eating them?”

“I DID IT TO PROTECT THEM!”

“Right, protecting someone by eating them. That makes perfect sense. I’m sure that’s what you told them at the time.”

And with that Dirk hopped off Karkat and sprinted ahead of him, presumably to the front of whatever animal they had pulling him along. It was very slow going.

“I’m sorry Karkat! We should have done a better job explaining, this is all our fault,” said Jake.

“Speak for yourself,” said Dave, “I never asked for this!”

“Dave, shut up,” said John.

“HOW ABOUT YOU ALL SHUT UP YOU’RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!” growled Karkat.

To his surprise they did go silent and he was allowed a moment of peace. They even stopped moving around so much, and Karkat took deep breaths. The humans weren’t completely still; they were shaking with fear. Karkat wasn't about to admit it but he was scared too.

Then something landed on his head, slid down his nose, jumped off and rolled down his shirt to come to a stop almost exactly where Dirk had just been. It was another human, the girl he had seen before. She wore an outfit similar to Dirk’s, but green.

Jade looked up at the troll, which glared down at her. Though she knew it was fully restrained, it's leer was like daggers of ice, sending waves of shivers up her spine.

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” said Karkat.

Before Jade could answer it talked again, looking down at it's stomach “NO THAT WAS NOT PERMISSION FOR ANY OF YOU TO TALK.” then Karkat looked back at her, more annoyed than before.

Jade cringed internally, but still had enough strength to say, smiling uncomfortably, “Hi, I’m Jade."

The troll continued to stare at her. Trying to tell if she was a threat or not.

“WHY DID YOU JUMP DOWN MY FACE?” asked Karkat, wrinkling his nose, which itched terribly.

That made the troll look like it was about to sneeze. Jade couldn't stop herself from laughing. For a moment the troll didn't appear as scary, more like a giant oaf than a giant beast.

“Well, I just wanted to talk to you, but I guess you’re fed-up of talking to people,” said Jade.

“I’M FED UP OF TALKING TO THE THREE IDIOTS I- YOU KNOW.”

“Ate?” Jade supplied, her voice squeaking a bit.

“YEAH,” sighed Karkat. “WAIT WAS THAT A FUCKING PUN?”

“Just trying to lighten the mood,” she said with a small voice, had she made it more mad?

“WELL YOU FAILED, OR MAYBE YOU JUST AREN’T FUNNY.”

“Fine then… so… you-you really never intended to kill them?” she asked, her voice returning to normal strength. She gave the troll a look was one that would make someone with no conscience feel guilty for lying.

"NEVER,"

"And you really ate them to protect them?" she sounded more excited than curious.

"REALLY."

"When... When you found Dave, I saw you pick him up, he wasn't in danger." said Jade.

"AN UNCONSCIOUS HUMAN, ALONE, OUT IN THE OPEN IN THE FOREST? TELL ME ONE THING ABOUT HIS SITUATION THAT SEEMED SAFE!" said the troll, "I WASN'T GOING TO LEAVE HIM THERE FOR SOMETHING OR SOMEONE ELSE TO FIND HIM."

"Oh," Jade looked down, "Then. This is all my fault. I ran away from you and left him there."

"HOW WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT WAS THE ONE TROLL THAT WOULDN'T KILL YOU?" Karkat tried to reassure her.

Though she was partially right. If she had stayed by Dave, then he would have found them both, and all this could have been avoided.

"Can I talk to Dave?" she asked.

"UH... YEAH BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO DO THAT WITHOUT MY EATING YOU AS WELL AND THAT’S CLEARLY A BAD IDEA-OH-OK" Immediately Jade started to climb up Karkat's shirt. But she didn't’ climb to his face, she had other plans.

"Here?" Jade pointed at his chest. She had stopped a little above where the cables were wrapped around him. She was clinging to the fabric, her feet over the cables.

"A LITTLE LOWER," he said.

She adjusted her position, now perched on the cables. They were thin though, she still had to grip his shirt to keep from falling.

"Dave? Can you hear me?" she asked.

There was no answer. Jade looked up at the troll with renewed worry and fear.

"YOU MAY HAVE TO TALK A BIT LOUDER," Karkat suggested.

She repeated herself, much louder than before.

"Jade! What are you doing here?" came Dave's voice.

“Uh hey Dave, well. After you got attacked by that plant and got captured, I mean found by uh...?"

"KARKAT.”

"After you were found by Karkat I sort of... fetched your brother," she said as if confessing to a crime.

"Jade why did you do that! He always takes thing too far!" Dave replied, sounding a bit peeved at her poor decision making.

"YOU GOT EATEN! Neither him nor anyone else overreacted," retorted Jade. "But now he's completely set in his actions and doesn't want to be stopped. He doesn't want to believe Karkat's not dangerous."

"I can see how that could be a problem," said Dave, "He doesn't like being wrong."

"WHY DO YOU HUMANS TALK LIKE I'M NOT HERE? IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING!" said Karkat. "AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT DANGEROUS'?!"

"Well, the way you talked about finding Dave and wanting to protect him, I just thought," Jade started to explain but stopped halfway then looked up at Karkat, staring him down "You know what, fine, say you're dangerous. I won't stop you. Then Dirk will have his reason to kill you, he's got a lot of say in what happens to you, got a lot of power. You'll get yourself killed, I won't care. All I care about is getting Dave home safely."

"Karkat I think a good course of action would be to maybe pass yourself off as, you know, not dangerous to anyone." suggested John.

"YEAH FINE, YOU'RE RIGHT," agreed Karkat, "AND MAYBE I'M NOT DANGEROUS. I DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO GET FREE BECAUSE I WAS WORRIED ABOUT HARMING YOU GUYS. I WASN'T TIED DOWN THAT TIGHT, I PROBABLY COULD HAVE GOTTEN FREE."

"Yeah, that's actually unlikely, you're the one who's lucky,” Jade said a bit proudly, but also looked away, a bit sheepishly.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" asked Karkat.

"You're correct that there wasn't much cable, and we didn't have much time before you woke to anchor it," Jade explained. She looked back up at the troll. It’s pupils were wide with fear, reflecting the pink moonlight and causing Jade to feel a twinge of pity for the troll."So the cables were barbed and strategically positioned on all your pressure points. If you had struggled any harder you would have experienced all those pressure points being stimulated all at once."

"HOLY SHIT," said Karkat, "THAT EXPLAINS WHY EVERY TIME I MOVED I FELT LIKE MY HEAD WAS GOING TO EXPLODE. IT STILL SORT OF FEELS THAT WAY."

"That might be because the cables still wrapped around you are currently pressing on a few of said pressure points," Jade informed him. "I wouldn't move your wrists very much by the way."

"HUMANS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BE THIS SMART," muttered the troll.

Still he tested his bonds, maybe the human was bluffing since his wrists didn't feel tightly bound. once again pain shot up his arms to the base of his neck like a bolt of lightning. The lighting filled his brain like water would a balloon and he felt like he was choking.

"I warned you," came Jade’s singsong voice through the ringing in his ears.

"What the hell was that!" John shouted, loud enough to be heard by Jade. Karkat’s pulse had shot up and all around the humans the stomach walls clenching, unclenching, rapidly and irregularly.

"Your troll friend being stupid," Jade told him, "By the way who are you? We never got your name."

"Jade it's me, John!"

Jade nearly fell off Karkat in surprise.

"Th-that's not possible," she said, "you d-died three years ago, I saw you get carried away by a bird!"

"Oh yeah, funny story that," said John.

"NOT REALLY," said Karkat, "LONG STORY SHORT, HE GOT AWAY FROM THE BIRD THEN RAN INTO ME."

"and...?" asked Jade.

"THAT'S IT, HE'S BEEN LIVING WITH ME SINCE," said Karkat.

"That's amazing!" said Jade, gazing up at the troll in wonder, any fear that was left now gone. Replaced by a fierce eagerness. It freaked Karkat out a bit. "I have so many questions now I don't know what to ask first!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" asked Karkat, bewildered.

"About what it's like, you two, living together! What it's like living with, well, a troll," she said, her energy almost tangible.

"YOU KNOW SO MUCH OUR BIOLOGY BUT NOT ABOUT OUR CULTURE?" asked Karkat.

"We get all our information from movies and books, how would you compare the accuracy of a medical documentary to you say your TV shows that portrays the average life of a troll kid?" asked Jade.

"I SEE YOUR POINT," said Karkat.

Jade almost tumbled off Karkat when they went over a particularly rough patch of ground, and a log. She cried out but did not lose her focus; Jade was able to stay on the troll, but had fallen onto its right leg. The troll was in distress as well, it looked like it was trying not to cry. Jade looked back and saw blood starting to trail behind them. It was deep crimson red, just like human blood, but it had to be the trolls.

She had noticed this before, while they were tying the troll down. Jade didn’t mention it to anyone because no one else would have cared, but all the books and movies she had read and seen told her that this was not a normal blood color for a troll.

“What is going on over there! Jade what the hell are you doing?” came Dirk’s voice from somewhere in front of them. “Get back over here now!”

Jade looked up at Karkat, who tried to give her a nondescript look. Of course his nondescript look was tired and angry which caused Jade to flinch under his gaze while lying flat on his leg, holding tight to his pants. It took her a few second to gain her balance enough so she could start to climb up the troll to return to Dirk. There was a tense moment when she climbed up his face, Jade had to actually use his mouth as a step up. When her hands clasped his teeth Karkat was unable to prevent his tongue from brushing them and his mouth started watering. This caused him to blush, though he didn’t know why, and he hoped Jade didn’t notice his reaction to her taste or his reaction to his reaction.

She scrambled up his face and ran across his head, leaping to the back of the large white animal that was not only dragging the troll along, but carried all the humans on its back. Except for Dirk, who sat on its head, and the driver who sat on its muzzle. Her comrades were giving her suspicious looks as she made her way to Dirk’s side.

“Dirk what is going to happen when we get back to the colony,” Jade inquired, “How is this going to work?”

“Do not tell me you are gaining sympathy for the troll Jade, it ate Dave remember!” Dirk said.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Jade glared up into the dark pointed shades.

“With luck Ms. Lalonde will be ready for our arrival. Until I speak with her I know as much as you do,” he supplied.

That’s so much bullshit and he knows it! Jade thought, but didn’t dare say it aloud.

Despite everything Jade had been told, after her conversation with Karkat she was beginning to think that killing him was wrong. He had done nothing wrong, other than give her and Dave a scare, and. Karkat was right, that from his perspective Dave had been a sitting duck when he found him. Plus Karkat had John and Jake, both alive, though inside him. They went missing so long ago that them being alive couldn’t be an accident.

Dirk was usually so logical, but he can’t see the evidence right in front of his stupid shades, thought Jade. Either that or, consciously or not, he refuses to see it.

Jade wished she could talk to Karkat again, just run back and sit on his head and talk to him. Talking to a troll was like a dream come true and they might kill this one before she got another chance. A small hint of guilt surfaced as for a brief moment she wondered what it was like to be in her friend’s place, if it truly was safe... Jade thought it might be fun to be eaten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please leave kudos and comments!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, please leave kudos and comments!


End file.
